I have decided I will not re-enlist in the ARMY. I will finish out my initial obligation and take the risk of being on IRR to maximize the time I can spend with friends, family, and reality. If I re-enlist I will get deployed. If I do not re-enlist I will probably still get deployed but will do my best to create some red-tape for the military ( slows them down but does not stop them and at least it will give me more time to prepare again).
You could say that I had a sort of vision the other day. I am more of a Tibetan Buddhist - it seems to fit me. Even they believe in spirits and spirit guides - both enlightened and non. So you could say I was explained to by my spirit guide that I would be making a decision about my life - I would decide then if I wanted to die on a FOB or get out while I could. I was told that if I got out I would find a much more rewarding life than I could have dreamed - much more than the measley bonus the ARMY was putting in front of me.
I was also given a fear - kind of like a fear of death type feeling. I know it is not the right time for me to die - and that is how it felt. Like I had a choice to die prematurely from something that I had a choice about. Do I really want to increase the odds of getting blown up while sitting in a humvee someday? Or would I rather live a little longer and die another way.
I am not really scared of dying. I know it will happen someday - and even when I was hit with this immenent death like feeling I found a way to just accept it if it were to happen. But I know if I can prevent it that I will.
I do not think the ARMY is evil or anything. It is a violent organization, and I honestly feel like I am folding a new life for myself spritually by leaving it. I have spent other lifetimes in other militaries - and now feel that violence may have short-term benefits but has long-term consequences for the planet. I really do not want to support violence any longer. There are better and more sustainable ways to live life. Those are where I want to be - not what I have seen in the ARMY.
I am just glad I have FINALLY started learning these lessons. I am also glad I can just move on about this subject and no longer worry about it. I have a resolution and can just focus on the important aspects of life and not worry about the ARMY as much as I could if I re-enlisted.
If you think the ARMY needs more support - then join up. I am done supporting it.
Just know that when you join that war is the violent form of politics - and politics is the nonviolent form of war. You can fight a battle for someone else - but you can always choose your own destiny.
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2 comments:
I think that it is a VERY good and wise choice to NOT re-enlist. You family is to important no matter what bonus may come your way. Besides all that was based on the "possibility" that you might get depolyed. You also have to consider the "possibility that you may not get depoloyed again". So in all I completely agree and fully support your choice to come back home to all of your friend and family and to move one and write the next chapter in your book.
Umm...not getting deployed is a slim and non chance at this point--as far as I know--they dont' ahve enough troops for the 3:1 rotation. People are getitng pulled back in before they get their 3 years off. But I think Kevin is doing what is best for him. Dave got told he could reenlistfor antoher 3 years and they'd retrain him into pc repair of the intelligence comps, but he doesn't want to. The army isn't his thing. It's not the way he'd handle situations and he hates having to be a slave to them--he's doing pc repair right now--and in Korea they have him in a group for shelter repair--what are the chances that he'll end up doing that in Iraq and not intelligence pc repair. I think it's a good chance. Glad you made a decision, Kevin, let me know when you get back and we'll go celebrate!!
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